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11 Minds are like parachutes.they only work when they're open
Money is like a promise, easier made then kept
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12 1. Ask for last months specials.
2. Place your order in three different languages if you don't know any, make them up.
3. When they repeat your order totally change it. Repeat as desired.
4. Order a whopper from McDonalds, when they say they don't have whoppers insist that they do. If they still argue demand to see a manager then when you talk to them order a normal meal and say i don't know what's up with kids these days.
5. Go to any burger joint and order Chinese.
6. When ordering in the drive through, ask if its happy hour on draft beer.
7. In summer turn stereo up full volume to Christmas music while ordering in drive through.
8. Drive in the drive through, park, then go inside and order.
9. Go through the drive through in reverse, again.
10. Wait for the busiest time of day, after paying get out of car, get jack out of trunk and proceed to rotate tires.
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13 Tonight on the 6:00 news, a recent poll by "USA Today" showed that 9 out of 10 people said that out of 10 people, 1 person will always disagree with the other 9!
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14 Signs you've had too much of the '90s Part II
21. Board members salaries are higher than all the Third World countries annual budgets combined.
22. It's dark when you drive to and from work, even in the summer.
23. You know exactly how many days you've got left until you retire.
24. Interviewees, despite not having the relevant knowledge or experience, terminate the interview when told of the starting salary.
25. You see a good looking, smart person and you know it must be a visitor.
26. Free food left over from meetings is your staple diet.
27. The work experience person gets a brand-new state-of-the-art laptop with all the features, while you have time to go for lunch while yours powers up.
28. Being sick is defined as you can't walk or you're in hospital.
29. You're already late on the assignment you just got.
30. There's no money in the budget for the five perma
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15 - From the interviewee: "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father." (Greg Norman)
- "There have been injuries and deaths in boxing, but none of them serious." (Alan Minter)
- "Just under 10 seconds for Nigel Mansel. Call it 9.5 seconds in round numbers." (Murray Walker)
- "A brain scan revealed that Andrew Caddick is not suffering from stress fracture of the shin." (Jo Sheldon)
- "That's inches away from being millimetre perfect." (Ted Lowe)
- "I'll fight Lloyd Honeyghan for nothing if the price is right." (Marlon Starling)
- "I can't tell who's leading. It's either Oxford or Cambridge." (John Snagge - Boat Race between only Oxford and Cambridge)
- "The Queen's Park Oval, exactly as its name suggests, is absolutely round." (
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