| Rating: 3.5 from 5 (2 votes) |
| |
| 1 A Marine was coming home from the Pentagon one
day. He noticed that there was a lot more traffic than normal. As he
got further up the road all of the traffic had come to a halt. He
saw a policeman coming towards his car, so he asked the cop what was
wrong. The cop said, "Man we are in a crisis situation. Mr.
Clinton is in the road very upset. He does not have the $33.5
million that he owes his lawyers, and his family hates him. He is
threatening to douse himself in gasoline and start a fire." The
marine asked the cop exactly what he was doing there." The cop
said, " I feel sorry for the president so I am going car to car
asking for donations." The marine asked, "How much do you
have so far?" The cop replied, "Well as of right now only
33 gallons, but many peopl
| |
|
| Rating: 3 from 5 (3 votes) |
| |
| 2 One day about a month ago, Bill Clinton was
looking for a call girl. He found three such ladies in a local
lounge---a blonde , a brunette , and a redhead. To the blonde he
said , "I am the president of the united states. How much would
it cost me to spend some time with you?" The blonde replied,
"Two hundred dollars." To the brunette he posed the same
question , and she replied, "One hundred dollars. "He then
asked the redhead the same question. The redhead replied, "Mr.
President , if you can raise my skirt as high as my taxes.... Get my
panties as low as my wages...get that thing of yours as hard as the
times... Keep it high as the gas prices...keep me warmer than my
apartment...and...screw me in private the way you do in public, then
believe me Mr. President , it ain'
| | It still doesn't have a vote, be the first one that votes it! |
| |
| 3 At a meeting for peace negotiations Bill
Clinton and Sadamm Hussein were in Baghdad and when bill sat down in
the conference room he noticed Saddamm with three buttons on the arm
of his chair. after a few minutes Sadamm pressed the first button
and a boxing glove sprung up and hit Bill square in the jaw. In the
spirit of peace Bill decided to ignore this and continued talking
until sadamm pressed the second button and a wooden bat swung out
and hill Bill in the chin. Sadamm started laughing. But again Bill
ignored this and continued . A minute later Bill saw Sadamm press
the third button and he jumped in the air. But a big boot sprung out
and hit him in the balls. Bill had decided he had enough of this and
when back home.
| |
|
| Rating: 5 from 5 (2 votes) |
| |
| 4 Three weeks later the peace negotiations were
re-scheduled in Washington and as Sadamm sat down in Bills
conference room he noticed Bill had three buttons on the arm of his
chair. A little while after they started talking Bill pressed the
first button but nothing happened, Bill started giggling. They
continued to talk then Bill pressed the second button, Sadamm moved
but again nothing happened. Sadamm was getting a little jumpy and
Bill was laughing even harder. A few minutes later Bill pressed the
third button and stared pissing himself but like the others nothing
happened. Sadamm had enough of this, stood up and said "That's
it! I'm going back to Baghdad!" , to which Bill replied
"What Baghdad?"
| | Rating: 5 from 5 (One vote) |
| |
| 5 The first ladies of UK, Russia and France were
having a meeting with Lady Hilary Clinton. The subject of discussion
was the penis of their respective spouse. The first lady of UK says,
"It is like a gentle man- it stands up, as soon as I enter the
room" The lady from Russia says, "It is like an army
officer- you do not know where he will attack from- front or
back.." The French lady says, "It is like the screen in
the auditorium- once the act is performed, it drops down..."
Then Hilary says, "It's like a rumour... it moves from one
mouth to another..."
| |
|
|
jokes-db.com