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Category Irish Jokes (36 jokes in 8 pages)
The best funny Irish Jokes and clean Irish Jokes.
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| Rating: 5 from 5 (One vote) |
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| 16
Irish father O`Malley is so upset about a rumor He`s hearin in the congregation. So on the next Sunday He announces" Faithful, I`ve heard despellin rumours that the flock believes in ghosts. By a show of hands who at church today believes they`ve ever set eyes on a ghost? "To his dismay a lot show their hands."Oh no people.I`ve told you there`s no such thing as a ghost and being God fearin Christians you can`t believe in them.His next question asked if anyone has ever touched a ghost before. Three of the flock raised aye. No! no! There`s no such thing I tell you! I hate as a Man of the cloth to ask this final question but I must.Is there any one in church today who will testify that they have ever had SEX with a ghost?" Way in the back 1 hand went up. "Mr.O`conner!!! How can you stand before God and say you`ve had sex with a ghost? Said O`conner"Oops irish father, thought you said Goat!"
Paddy was in New York He was patiently waiting, and watching the traffic cop on a busy street crossing. The cop stopped the flow of traffic and shouted, "Okay pedestrians". Then he`d allow the traffic to pass. He`d done this several times, and Paddy still stood on the sidewalk. After the cop had shouted "Pedestrians" for the tenth time, Paddy went over to him and said, "Is it not about time ye let the Catholics across?"
| | Rating: 5 from 5 (One vote) |
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| 17
Mrs. Pete Monaghan came into the newsroom to pay for her husband`s obituary. She was told by the kindly newsman that it was a dollar a word and he remembered Pete and wasn`t it too bad about him passing away. She thanked him for his kind words and bemoaned the fact that she only had two dollars. But she wrote out the obituary, "Pete died." The newsman said he thought old Pete deserved more and he`d give her three more words at no charge. Mrs. Pete Monaghan thanked him and rewrote the obituary: "Pete died. Boat for sale"
| | Rating: 5 from 5 (One vote) |
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| 18
Padraic Flaherty came home drunk every evening toward ten. Now, the Missus was never too happy about it, either. So one night she hides in the cemetery and figures to scare the beejeezus out of him. As poor Pat wanders by, up from behind a tombstone she jumps in a red devil costume screaming, "Padraic Sean Flaherty, sure and ya` don`t give up you`re drinkin` and it`s to Hell I`ll take ye`". Pat, undaunted, staggered back and demanded, "Who the hell ARE you?". Too that the Missus replied, "I`m the divil ya` damned old fool". To which Flaherty remarked, "Damned glad to meet you sir, I`m married to yer sister."
| | Rating: 5 from 5 (One vote) |
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| 19
Gallagher opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read in the obituary column that he had died. He quickly phoned his best friend Finney. "Did you see the paper?" asked Gallagher. "They say I died!!"
"Yes, I saw it!" replied Finney. "Where are you callin` from?"
| | Rating: 3 from 5 (2 votes) |
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| 20
Murphy was 77 years old and had worked 80 hours a week all his life and never had a holiday. His children were all married and his wife had died. He decided to enjoy life. He had a face lift, got a new expensive toupee, bought ten new suits and a brand new car. One evening he got all dressed up in a new suit, new tie, put on his toupee, and got into his new car and drove off towards Dublin. He was only gone a mile when he was killed in an accident. On arrival in heaven, he walked over to St. Peter and said, "What`s going on here? All my life I worked hard, and finally, when I had everything in place to enjoy myself, I was killed. Why? Why did you let it happen?"
St. Peter ducked his head in embarrassment and said, "Well, to tell you the truth I didn`t recognize you."
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