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Category Irish Jokes (36 jokes in 8 pages)
The best funny Irish Jokes and clean Irish Jokes.
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| Rating: 3 from 5 (2 votes) |
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| 11
Irish father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, "Do you want to go to heaven?"
The man said, "I do irish father." The irish priest said, "Then stand over there against the wall." Then the irish priest asked the second man, "Do you want to got to heaven?" "Certainly, irish father," was the man`s reply. "Then stand over there against the wall," said the irish priest. Then irish father Murphy walked up to O`Toole and said, "Do you want to go to heaven?" O`Toole said, "No, I don`t irish father." The irish priest said, "I don`t believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die you don`t want to go to heaven?" O`Toole said, "Oh, when I die, yes. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now."
| | Rating: 3 from 5 (One vote) |
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| 12
O`Toole worked in the lumber yard for twenty years and all that time he`d been stealing the wood and selling it. At last his conscience began to bother him and he went to confession to repent. "irish father, it`s 15 years since my last confession, and I`ve been stealing wood from the lumber yard all those years," he told the irish priest. "I understand my son," says the irish priest. "Can you make a Novena?" O`Toole said, "irish father, if you have the plans, I`ve got the lumber."
| | Rating: 5 from 5 (One vote) |
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| 13
The good irish father was warning his listeners about the suddenness of death. "Before another day is ended," he thundered, "somebody in this parish will die." Seated in the front row was a little old Irishman who laughed out loud at this statement. Very angry, the irish priest said to the jovial old man, "What`s so funny?" "Well!" spoke up the oldster, "I`m not a member of this parish."
| | Rating: 3 from 5 (One vote) |
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| 14
An Episcopal Bishop lands at La Guardia and asks the cab driver (an Irishman) to take him to "Christ`s Church." The cabby takes him to Saint Pat`s. The Bishop says, "I Said to you very clearly, take me to Christ`s Church. This isn`t the place!" The cabby replies, "Yer excellency, If he ain`t here, he ain`t in town!
| | Rating: 1 from 5 (One vote) |
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| 15
The New Curate
Irish father O`Malley, the new irish priest is nervous about hearing confessions, so he asks the older irish priest to sit in on his sessions. The new irish priest hears a couple of confessions, then the old irish priest asks him to step out of the confessional for a few suggestions. The old irish priest suggests, "Cross you arms over your chest, and rub your chin with one hand." The new irish priest tries this. The old irish priest suggests, "Try saying things like, `I see, yes, go on, I understand and how did you feel about that?`" The new irish priest says those things. The old irish priest says, "Now, don`t you think that`s a little better than slapping your knee and saying `No shit?!? What happened next?`"
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