| Rating: 5 from 5 (One vote) |
| |
| 6
It seem an old rabbi, in seeing his son graduate from high school, wanted to know what be the youths plans. He called the son into his study and questioned him. "Son, I vish to know, what kind of career are you going to have"? The rabbi laid on a table three items, a $100 bill, a fifth of Jamesons and the good book. He looked to the boy and said, " Ve need to know your future. If you take the $100 bill, you will become a gambler, and that is very terrible. If you take the fifth of Jameson`s, you will become a drunkard and that too is very, very bad. But...If you take the good book, you will become a rabbi, like you Papa. The young lad`s mind was blank. He was just out of high school and he did not yet know what he wanted to do with his life. After a few minutes of trying to think, he finally decided there was only one answer. The boy took the $100 bill and put it in his pocket. He picked up the Jameson`s in one hand and with the other grasped the good book, put it under his arm and quickly left the room. The old rabbi was stunned. He could not understand what had just happened. Then all of a sudden his eyes grew wide, he jumped to his feet, and slapping the side of his face he cried, "Oy Vay... He is going to become a Catholic irish priest!"
| |
|
| Rating: 5 from 5 (2 votes) |
| |
| 7
Farmer McCarthy lived for many years with only his dog for a companion.One sad day he found his dog dead from old age. He went to his parish irish priest and asked if services could be said for his dog. The good irish father said "oh no, we can`t have services for a dog here, but there`s a new church down the street that might be wiling." "irish father do you think $50,000 might be enough of a donation?" asked farmer McCarthy. "Well man , why didn`t me your dog was a catholic!!!?"
| | Rating: 4 from 5 (2 votes) |
| |
| 8
One fine day in Ireland, a guy is out golfing and gets up to the 16th hole. He tees up and cranks one. Unfortunately, it goes into the woods on the side of the fairway. He goes looking for his ball and comes across this little guy with this huge knot on his head and the golf ball lying right beside him. "Goodness," says the golfer then proceeds to revive the poor little guy. Upon awakening, the little guy says, "Well, you caught me fair and square. I am a leprechaun. I will grant you three wishes." The man says "I can`t take anything from you, I`m just glad I didn`t hurt you too badly," and walks away. Watching the golfer depart, the leprechaun says "Well, he was a nice enough guy, and he did catch me, so I have to do something for him. I`ll give him the three things that I would want. I`ll give him unlimited money, a great golf game, and a great sex life." Well, a year goes past (as they often do in jokes like this) and the same golfer is out golfing on the same course at the 16th hole. He gets up and hits one into the same woods and goes off looking for his ball. When he finds the ball he sees the same little guy and asks how he is doing. The leprechaun says, "I`m fine, and might I ask how your golf game is?" The golfer says, "It`s great! I hit under par every time." "I did that for you," responds the leprechaun, "And might I ask how your money is holding out?" "Well, now that you mention it, every time I put my hand in my pocket, I pull out a hundred pound note" he replied. The leprechaun smiles and says, "I did that for you. And might I ask how your sex life is?" Now the golfer looks at him a little shyly and says, "Well, maybe once or twice a week." Floored the leprechaun stammers, "Once or twice a week?" The golfer looks at him sheepishly and says, "Well, that`s not too bad for a Catholic irish priest in a small parish."
| |
|
| Rating: 3 from 5 (2 votes) |
| |
| 9
A wealthy farmer went to church one Sunday. After services he said to the irish priest, "irish father, that was a damned good sermon you gave, damned good!" "I`m happy you liked it," said the irish priest. "But I wish you wouldn`t use those terms in expressing yourself." "I can`t help it," said the rich farmer. "I still think it was a damned good sermon. In fact, I liked it so much I put a fifty pound note in the collection basket." "The hell you did?!" replied the irish priest.
| | Rating: 5 from 5 (2 votes) |
| |
| 10
Boyle sat in a Belfast confessional. "Bless me, irish father, for I have sinned," he said. "I`ve blown up three hundred miles of English railroad!" "All right, my son," admonished the irish priest. "For penance, do the stations!"
| |
|
|
jokes-db.com