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Category Irish Jokes (36 jokes in 8 pages)
The best funny Irish Jokes and clean Irish Jokes.
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| Rating: 3.67 from 5 (3 votes) |
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| 1 A young Irish girl goes into her irish priest on Saturday morning for confession.
"irish father, forgive me for I have Thinned."
"You`ve Thinned?"
"Yes, I went out with me boyfriend Friday night. He held me hand twice, kissed me three times, and made love to me two times."
"Daughter! I want you to go straight home, squeeze seven lemons into a glass, and drink it straight down."
"Will that wash away me Thin?"
"No, but it will get the silly smile off your face."
| | Rating: 4.5 from 5 (4 votes) |
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| 2
McCuen stumbled out of a saloon right into the arms of irish father Logan. "Inebriated again!" declared the irish priest. "Shame on you! When are you going to straighten out your life??" "irish father," asked McCuen. "What causes arthritis?" "I`ll tell you what causes it! Drinking cheap whiskey, gambling and carousing around with loose women. How long have you had arthritis?" "I don`t," slurred McCuen. "The Bishop has it!"
| | Rating: 1 from 5 (One vote) |
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| 3
Young O`Donnell rushed into a church, placed his rifle under a pew and entered the confessional. "irish father," he said breathlessly, "I`ve just shot down two British lieutenants!" Hearing no response he went on: "I also knocked off a British captain!" When there was still no response from the irish priest, O`Donnell said, "irish father, have ye fainted?" "Of course I haven`t fainted," replied the confessor. "I`m waitin` for you to stop talkin` politics and commence confessin` your sins!"
| | Rating: 4.4 from 5 (5 votes) |
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| 4
One little Atheist boy`s parents were very concerned about his grades in school. They noticed that his study habits were poor, that he wouldn`t concentrate, and that he had zero initiative as far as homework was concerned, so they decided to send him to a Catholic school. They noticed an immediate improvement in his overall school performance, especially in math. Every day he would come home from school and promptly head upstairs and begin studying his numbers. Amazed, his parents asked him what it was that motivated him to study so hard. "Is it that the Nuns are so strict with you getting your schoolwork finished?", they asked. "No." said the boy. "Is it that the subjects they are giving you are challenging to you?" "No." responded the boy. "What is it, then, that makes you so eager to study at this new school?" they queried. "Well," said the boy, "my very first day of school at Our Lady of Perpetual Motion, I was sitting in class, looking around and not paying much attention. Then I looked up and saw this naked guy nailed to a plus sign, and I figured they must meant business!"
| | Rating: 3.5 from 5 (2 votes) |
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| 5
Two leprechauns went to the convent and begged an audience with the mother superior. "well, how can I help you little people?" asked mother superior. the larger and more intelligent looking of the leprechauns asked "oh mother superior, would you be knowing of any midget nuns here at the convent?" "No," says mother superior, "I don`t have any midget nuns here at the convent" "all right than, mother superior, would you be knowing of any midget nuns in all of Ireland than?" "no, no," replied mother superior, "I don`t know of any nuns who are also midgets in all of Ireland at all." "Well than mother superior, in all of nundom, in the whole world of all the nuns, would you be knowing, than, of any midget nuns?` "No, I would not, there are no midget nuns in the whole of the world!" replied mother superior, "and would you please tell me what this is all about!!?" The asking leprechaun turned sadly to the stupid leprechaun and said "see, its as I told you all along, you`ve been dating a Penguin"
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