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56 The diner was furious when his steak arrived too rate. “
Waiter,†he barked, “didn’t you hear me say ‘well done’?
“I can’t thank you enough, sir,†replied the waiter.
“I hardly ever get a compliment.â€
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57
An Englishman took a business trip to New York. When he arrived, the hotel clerk asked him a riddle. "My mom and dad had a baby. It wasn't my brother. It wasn't my sister. Who was it?"
The Englishman thought long and hard, but eventually gave up. "I don't know who was it?"
The hotel clerk responded, "It was me!"
The Englishman thought that was hilarious. He couldn't wait to get home and tell this funny joke to his family and friends in England.
When he arrived home they met him at the airport and he asked them: "My mom and dad had a baby. It wasn't my brother. It wasn't my sister. Who was it?"
His friends thought and thought about it until they gave up. So he told them, "It was a hotel clerk I met in New York."
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58 A wealthy ninety years old tycoon is meeting with is financial advisor. The advisor is very excited and tells the old man. “ I just found out about an investment I can make for you which will double your money in just five years!â€
“Five years? Are you kidding?†exclaims the old man. “At my age, I don’t even buy green bananas.â€
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59 A frantic woman had dialed 911.
“Police, fire, or ambulance?†asked the operator.
“I want a vet!†demanded the panic-stricken woman.
“A vet?†said the operator in surprise.
“What for?â€
“To open by bulldog’s jaws.â€
“But why did you call 911?â€
“There’s a burglar in them.â€
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60 A vacationer telephones a seaside hotel to ask where it was. “It’s only a stone’s throw from the beach,†he was told. “How will I recognize it?†asked the man.
“It’s the one with all the broken windows.†Came the reply.
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jokes-db.com
