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Category Doctor Jokes (97 jokes in 20 pages)
The best funny Doctor Jokes and clean Doctor Jokes.
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| Rating: 4 from 5 (One vote) |
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| 16 Peter called his doctor’s office for an appointment. “I’m sorry,†said the receptionist, “we can’t fit you in for at least two weeks.â€
“But I could be dead by then!â€
“No problem. If your wife lets us know, we’ll cancel the appointment.â€
| | Rating: 3 from 5 (One vote) |
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| 17 Things Not to Hear During Surgery,Part I I Could you stop that thing from beating? It's throwing my concentration off..
What's this doing here?
I hate it when they're missing stuff in here.
That's cool! Now can you make his leg twitch?!
I wish I hadn't forgotten my glasses.
Well folks, this will be an experiment for us all.
Sterile, shcmerile. The floor's clean, right?
Anyone see where I left that scalpel?
This patient has already had some kids, am I correct?
Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card?
Don't worry. I think it is sharp enough.
FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out now!!
Darn! Page 47 of the manual is missing!
| | Rating: 4 from 5 (One vote) |
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| 18 Things Not to Hear During Surgery,Part I Darn, there go the lights again...
Ya know, there's big money in kidneys. Heck, the guy's got two of 'em.
Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!
Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.
Someone call the janitor - we're going to need a mop.
Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad Dog!
Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?
Hand me that....uh....that uh....thingie.
Oh no! I just lost my Rolex.
Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?
| | Rating: 4 from 5 (One vote) |
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| 19 A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doc., everytime I drink coffee, I get terrible pains in my eye."
The doctor says, "Try taking the spoon out first."
| | It still doesn't have a vote, be the first one that votes it! |
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| 20 A man is surprised to receives a call from his doctor.
The doctor says, "I'm sorry, but I have some bad news and some worse news."
"Well, alright, give me the bad news first," said the man.
"Well," said the doctor, "The bad news is that you only have 24 hours to live."
"Holy Cow! That is some bad news!" the man exclaimed. "What news could be worse than that?" he asked.
"The worse news is that I have been trying to reach you since yesterday."
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