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Category Doctor Jokes (97 jokes in 20 pages)
The best funny Doctor Jokes and clean Doctor Jokes.
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| Rating: 4 from 5 (2 votes) |
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| 11
A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Harley
motorcycle when he spotted a well-known heart surgeon in his shop.
The surgeon was there, waiting for the service manager to come and take a look at his bike.
The mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey, Doc, can I ask you a question?"
The surgeon a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic working on the motorcycle. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "So Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take valves out, fix 'em, put 'em back in, and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I get such a small salary and you get the really big bucks, when you and I are doing basically the same work?"
The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over, and whispered to the mechanic...
"Try doing it with the engine running."
| | Rating: 3 from 5 (One vote) |
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| 12 A man hasn't been feeling well, so he goes to his doctor for a complete checkup. Afterward, the doctor comes out with the results.
"I'm afraid I have some very bad news," the doctor says. "You're dying, and you don't have much time left."
"Oh, that's terrible!" says the man. "Give it to me straight, Doc. How long have I got?"
"Ten," the doctor says sadly.
"Ten?" the man asks. "Ten what? Months? Weeks? What?!"
"Nine..."
| | Rating: 5 from 5 (One vote) |
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| 13 Somehow we always think we are aging at a slower rate than everyone else, this was true of this older woman who is seeing a doctor for the first time.
She was taken into a room and told to “make herself comfortable.†While reading the doctor's diploma on the wall, she realizes that she went to high school with him many years ago.
The doctor enters the room; he is very gray, and slightly bent over from old age, and says “hello, how can I help you?â€
The woman asks; “Did you attend Roosevelt High School?â€
“Yes I didâ€, the doctor answered.
She asks: “Class of 49?†“Yes I wasâ€, was the answered.
The woman was delighted, and said: “You were in my class!â€
The doctor responded: “What did you teach?â€
| | Rating: 5 from 5 (One vote) |
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| 14 Five doctors went to on a duck hunt: a GP, a pediatrician, a psychiatrist, a surgeon, and a pathologist. After a while a bird came winging overhead, the GP raised his shogun but didn’t shoot because he wasn’t sure if it was a duck or not. The pediatrician also raised his gun, but then he wasn’t sure if it was a male or female duck, so he didn’t shoot. The psychiatrist raised his gun and then thought, I know that’s a duck, but does the duck know it’s a duck?†The surgeon was the only one who shot. Boom!! He blew it away. Then he turned to the pathologist and said, “Go see if that was a duck.â€
| | Rating: 3 from 5 (One vote) |
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| 15 Patient: Doctor, doctor I have only 58 seconds to live!!!!!!
Doctor: I’ll be with you in a minute
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