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Category Baseball Jokes (58 jokes in 12 pages)
The best funny Baseball Jokes and clean Baseball Jokes.
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| It still doesn't have a vote, be the first one that votes it! |
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| 31
Spring training is very important.
It gives all the Dominican players time to learn how to say "renegotiate" in English.
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| 32
The Cleveland Symphony Orchestra was rehearsing Beethoven`s Ninth Symphony. There is an extensive section where the bass players don`t play for twenty minutes of so. One of them decided that, rather than stand around on stage looking bored and stupid, they`d all just file offstage during their tacit-time and hang out backstage, then return when they were about to play. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
On the night of the performance, the bass players filed off as planned. The last one had barely left the stage when the leader suggested, "Hey we`ve got twenty minutes, let`s fun across the street to the bar for a few!"
This idea was met with great approval, so off they went, tuxedos and all, to loosen up. Fifteen minutes and a few rounds later, one of the bass players said, "Shouldn`t we be heading back? It`s almost time."
But the leader announced, "Oh don`t worry, we`ll have some extra time - I played a little joke on the conductor. Before the performance started, I tied string around each page of his score so that he`d have to untie each page to turn it. The piece will drag on a bit. We`ve got time for another round!"
So another round they did, and finally - sloshed and staggering - they made their way back across the street to finish Ludwig`s 9th.
Upon entering the stage, they immediately noticed the conductor`s haggard, drawn and livid expression.
"Gee," one player queried, "Why do you suppose he looks so tense?"
"You`d be tense, too," laughed the leader. "It`s the bottom of the ninth, the score is tied and the basses are loaded."
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| 33
The other day was take your daughter to work day. The Cubs had a fun time, played a little scrimmage against their daughters.
Unfortunately they lost, 15-3.
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| 34
The stock market really plummeted today, but luckily there is a computer chip that is used to turn off the board if it gets too low.
The Cubs have the same chip in their scoreboard.
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| 35
This couple just recently got a divorce and they decided to move away from each other and go there separate ways. So, the father sat down and talked with his son and he said "Son, I think that it is best that you go and live with your mother." The kid said "No, I won`t because she beats me." Then, the mother came in and talked to the son, "I think it is best that you go and live with your father" "NO NO," he replied, "He beats me." So then, both the parents sat down and said to their son, "Well if we both beat you, then who do you want to live with?" The son said, "The Red Sox. They can`t beat anyone."
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