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| 86 “Doctor, doctor!†said the panic-stricken woman, “my husband was asleep with his mouth open, and he’s swallowed a mouse! What shall I do?â€
“Quite simple,†said the doctor calmly. “You just tie a lump of cheese to a piece of string and lower it into your husband’s mouth. As soon as the mouse takes a bite – haul it out.â€
“Oh, I see. Thank you, doctor. I’ll go around to the fishmonger straight away and get a cod’s head.â€
“What do you want a cod’s head for?â€
“Oh- I forgot to tell you. I’ve got to get the cat out first!â€
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| 87 A kid centipede comes running to his house, and knocks on the door and says, "Dad open up, a chicken is chasing me!!!"
The dad centipede says, “Hold up, let me put my shoes on first!"
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| 88 Q. Why does a cow wear a bell?
A. Because his horn doesn’t work!
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| Rating: 5 from 5 (One vote) |
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| 89 “Look at that speed!†said one hawk to another as the jet fighter plane hurtled over their heads.
“Hmph!†snorted the other. “You would fly fast too if your tail was on fire!â€
| | Rating: 4 from 5 (One vote) |
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| 90 A famous art collector is walking through the city when he notices a mangy cat lapping milk from a saucer in the doorway of a store and he does a double-take. He recognizes that the saucer is extremely old and very valuable, so he walks casually into the store and offers to buy the cat for two dollars.
The storeowner replies, "I'm sorry, but the cat isn't for sale.
The collector says, "Please, I need a hungry cat around the house to catch mice. I'll pay you twenty dollars for that cat."
And the owner says "Sold," and hands over the cat.
The collector continues, "Hey, for the twenty bucks I wonder if you could throw in that old saucer. The cat's used to it and it'll save me from having to get a dish."
And the owner says, "Sorry buddy, but that's my lucky saucer. So far this week I've sold sixty-eight cats."
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