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| 76 A woman owned a parrot that could say only one thing – “Who is it?†For years and years she had been trying to teach it to extend its vocabulary, but it resolutely refused to utter anything other than “Who is it?â€
One day she had sent for the plumber, and as she had to go out shopping she arranged for him to find the key under the mat outside the front door. The plumber duly arrived, found the key, let himself in and set to work. Naturally the parrot, hearing someone in the house with an unfamiliar tread, decided to give a recital. “Who is it?†called the parrot. The plumber!†called the workman. Hearing a strange voice the parrot again decided to utter his one and only phrase. “Who is it?â€
“The plumber!†came the response.
The parrot was not satisfied – he wanted to see who the stranger was. “Who is it? He called again, and again the plumber yelled out “It’s the plumber!†Again and again the bird called out “Who is it?†and again and again the
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| 77 Bargains at the pet shop:
A hummingbird that knows the words
A bloodhound with hypoglycemia
A chameleon that's stuck on green
A depressed hyena
An absent-minded elephant
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| 78 A frog telephones a psychic hotline and is told, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."
"Great," says the frog, "Will I meet her at a party?"
"No," said the psychic, "Next year - in biology class."
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| 79 A cat dies and goes to Heaven. God meets him at the gate and says, 'you have been a good cat all of these years. Anything you desire is yours, all you have to do is ask.'
The cats says, 'Well, I lived all my life with a poor family on a farm and had to sleep on hardwood floors.' God says, 'Say no more.' And instantly, a fluffy pillow appears. A few days later, 6 mice are killed in a tragic accident and they go to Heaven. God meets them at the gate with the same offer that He made the cat.
The mice said, 'All our lives we've had to run. Cats, dogs and even women with brooms have chased us. If we could only have a pair of roller skates, we wouldn't have to run anymore.' God says, 'Say no more.' And instantly, each mouse is fitted with a beautiful pair of tiny roller skates.
About a week later, God decides to check and see how the cat is doing. The cat is sound asleep on his new pillow. God gently wakes him and asks, 'How are you doing? Are you happy here?
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| 80 Two ROBINS were lying on their backs, BASKING in the sun. A mama cat and her kitten were walking by. The kitten complained, 'Mama, I'm so hungry, what can we eat?' To which the mama cat, spying the two robins, replied,
How about some Baskin Robbins?'
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