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66 1. Grasp cat firmly in your arms. Cradle its head on your elbow, just as if you were giving baby a bottle. Coo confidently, "That's a nice kitty." Drop pill into its mouth.
2. Retrieve cat from top of lamp and pill from under sofa.
3. Follow same procedure as in 1, but hold cat's front paws down with left hand and back paws down with elbow of right arm. Poke pill into its mouth with right forefinger.
4. Retrieve cat from under bed. Get new pill from bottle. (Resist impulse to get new cat.)
5. Again proceed as in 1, except when you have cat firmly cradled in bottle-feeding position, sit down on edge of chair, fold your torso over cat, bring your right hand over your left elbow, open cat's mouth by lifting the upper jaw and pop the pill in - quickly. Since your head is down by your knees, you won't be able to see what you're doing. That's just as well.
6. Leave cat hanging on drapes. Leave pill
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67 There are two bats in a cave and one says to the other "I could do with some blood right now" the other said, "Me too but its almost sunrise". The first one said, "Wait here" he flies off and comes back with a mouth full of blood. The 2nd bat says, "Hey where'd ya get that blood from?" The other replies, "Ya see that tree over there?"
"Yeah"
"Well I didn't"
The 2nd bat looks puzzled and says, "What’s that got to do with blood?"
The first one rolls his eyes and flies off.
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68 Look over there! Said the frightened skunk to his pal.
“There’s a human with a gun, and he’s getting closer and closer! What are we going to do?”
To which the second skink calmly replied, “Let us spray ….”
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69 Q: Why do dogs make such poor gamblers?
A: When they get a good hand at poker, they wag their tails.
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70 One day a chicken goes to a library and asked: “ book, book, book”.
The librarian gave the chicken 3 books and the chicken went on its way...
The next day the same chicken came into the library and said “book, book, book”
So the librarian gave the chicken 3 books again... but this time she became suspicious of where the chicken was taking the books... so the librarian decided follow the chicken.
After a while the chicken came to a swamp and stopped besides a frog ... the chicken gave the three books to the frog, and the frog replied: Read it! Read it! Read it!
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