| Rating: 5 from 5 (One vote) |
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| 61 A couple was having a party at their house. An hour before the party the woman found out that she still needed escargots. So she sent her husband out to get it. He was walking to the supermarket and he figured he had lots of time. So he stopped at the bar on the way. An hour and a half later he looked at his watch and realized that the party had already started. He quickly ran to the market, bought the snails and ran home. He tried to sneak into the kitchen without his wife seeing him. But at that moment his wife came out. He quickly threw the snails on the floor and said, "Come on guys, we're almost there."
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| Rating: 3 from 5 (One vote) |
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| 62 Two piggies walk into a bar, get drunk and ask, "Where's the bathroom?" The bartender points to the door and they rush in.
Two more piggies walk into a bar. They soon get drunk and they ask, "Where's the bathroom?" The bartender points to the door and they rush in.
One piggy walks into a bar. He gets drunk out of his mind and then heads for the exit. "Hey, buddy! Do you want know where the bathroom is?" asks the bartender.
"No thanks," the piggy slurs, "I always go WEEWEEWEE all the way home!"
| | Rating: 4 from 5 (One vote) |
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| 63 This little boy was walking to school when he found a frog. He picked the frog up and went to school. When he got to school, he sat the frog up on his desk and his teacher freaked out. "What is that?????†she asked him. "It's a deaf frog, Ma'am", answered the little boy. "What, what, what??? How do you know it is a deaf frog???†screamed the teacher. "I pissed in his ear and he didn't move", said the boy truthfully. "What, what, what, what do you mean you pissed in his ear and he didn't move????†she asked in an outrage. "Just like I said, I leaned over, I went PSSSSTTTT, in his ear and he didn't move!"
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| Rating: 4 from 5 (One vote) |
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| 64 A city man was tooling down a country road when his car sputtered to a complete stop near a field filled with cows. The driver, getting out to see what was the matter, noticed one of the cows looking at him. "I believe it's your radiator," said the cow.
The man nearly jumped right out of his city slicker britches! He ran to the nearest farmhouse and knocked on the door. "A cow just gave me advice about my car!" he shouted, waving his arms franticly back toward the field.
The farmer nonchalantly leaned out beyond the doorframe to glance down the field. "The cow with two big black spots on it?" the farmer asked slowly.
"Yes! Yes! That's the one!" the excited man replied.
"Oh. Well, that's Ethel," the farmer said, turning back to the man. "Don't pay any attention to her. She doesn't know a thing about cars."
| | Rating: 5 from 5 (One vote) |
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| 65 A man has a racehorse, never won a race. Man in disgust says,†Horse, you win today or you pull a milk wagon tomorrow morning." The starting gate opens, the horses take-off, they move the gate away and there lays his horse asleep on the track. He kicks the horse and asks, "WHY ARE YOU SLEEPING. The horse, half asleep says, "I have to get up at three in the morning."
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